When we are unhappy or discontent in veterinary medicine, or any area of our lives, we begin searching for the cause.
We then draw conclusions about our circumstances and determine the way to be happier is to get away from the “bad” circumstances we’ve identified.
In VetMed these “bad” circumstances are typically jobs, fellow veterinary professionals, clients, student loan debt, scheduling, staffing, etc.
When we can’t get away from those circumstances, we begin a habit-pattern of negative thinking about them… and this sustains the emotional misery we experience.
What’s worse, it’s nearly impossible to make the decisions needed to change our circumstances from that low emotional state.
Thankfully, there is a much better way!
In this episode I share the 3-step process of Starting Over that guarantees you will begin feeling better immediately, even before your “new circumstances” become your reality.
This process absolutely essential if you want to create a new experience for yourself.
Best part, it’s pretty easy too… as long as you commit a little bit of time to it on a regular basis.
Ready for a fresh start? Listen now!
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain typos. Hi there. I'm Dr. Cari Wise veterinarian, certified life coach and certified quantum human design specialist. If you are a veterinary professional looking to uplevel your life and your career or maybe looking to go in an entirely new direction, then what I talk about here on the Joyful DVM podcast is absolutely for you. Let's get started. Hello, my friend. In this episode of the joyful DVM podcast, we are going to be exploring the idea of starting over. Many of us when we get into our veterinary careers after a period of time, we have this realization that what we're experiencing is not what we want to keep experiencing. And it's an interesting phenomenon that happens because as we start to recognize that we are having uncomfortable feelings, we're frustrated, we're not measuring up whatever the story is around all of the way that it is, that it's not the way that we thought it would be, that actually starts to stack on itself in a very negative way. And this is something that we can all see in our environments in veterinary medicine. We've probably all experienced it at some point in time, and it often shows up as things like what we call toxic work environments or toxic employees or, and, and, and on top of that, I guess I should say, imposter syndromes get stacked into that. We add in our compassion fatigue. So all of these things, we start looking for these reasons why it is that the experience that we're having isn't a good one. It's not the one that we had dreamed that we would have or at least anticipated that we would have when we jumped into the profession. And so then here comes this idea of starting over. Now for many of us, we've coped with this by changing jobs. You've probably heard me talk about it before. I call it job hopping, where we move from job to job to job getting away from the one that wasn't such a great fit. But in the traditional way that most of us approach this change, it is by running away from what we don't like as opposed to running toward what we want to create with intention. And this is where the magic of starting over really comes into play. There will be many times in your life that you will start over and it's not a problem. We never start back at the beginning. And so I think that's the myth number one that we have to bust here, that when you decide to start again, you actually aren't starting over with anything because you're never going to begin at today at the point that you began anything before this moment today, you're going to come today with all of your experiences and your knowledge that you've gained all along the way. And that is invaluable. It is only those experiences and that knowledge that you've gained that actually has created the clarity to have you even considering something new right now. So the first thing we wanna do is make sure that we give ourselves lots of compassion and grace to understand that nothing's gone wrong so far. You just simply have clarity about how you would like things to be better for you than they are. And then our approach to that is what makes all the difference in the world? That's what the whole idea of starting over or starting again as I want to keep reminding us, it's what we are doing. That starting again is actually very powerful. There's a three part process that we can use whenever we begin a new adventure. And when I say begin a new adventure, it can be an adventure into a new job. It can be an adventure into a new relationship. It could be an adventure into a new home. There's just all kinds of things, a new hobby. There's all kinds of things that we can start again or start anew. And as we use this three step process to approach it, the likelihood that we will actually then create it really grows exponentially. The first part of this three part process is to really paint the vision. So we want to get really clear as much as we can at the beginning of anything with what it is that we want to create, and more importantly, how is it that we want to feel At the end of the day, the only reason that we ever change anything isn't so much because of just somebody told us we had to. It's a desire to change or to experience a different kind of feeling. That's what the motivation is. And so if we go back to our example before about how we change jobs to feel better, how we're coping with our stress to feel better, that's not running towards something more amazing, that's running away from something that feels pretty awful. And it's also us believing that all of that emotional experience is created by the circumstances of that job. And so we need to get away from the job before we have permission, if you will, or the ability to feel better. So there's a lot that plays into that. And the truth is that we do want to make changes in our lives to move toward the things that we want. And yes, we want to feel better, we wanna be happier, we want to feel more abundant, we wanna feel more supported and more respected. We want to believe we have more control over our time, we want more expansion. So those are things that most of us want. But where we are right now for most of us is that we look at our circumstances. So the job, the relationship, the location, the time we, how we spend our time, we look at those circumstances and we believe those circumstances are the reason that we can't get what we want. And so we keep trying to change the circumstances. So change the job for example, in order for us to feel better, for us to get what we want, which is to feel better for us to get what we want, which means to feel happier, to feel more abundant. And it's a lot of work to keep changing circumstances, right? Especially if you're looking at changing jobs or changing locations or changing relationships, there's a lot of action that goes into that. And also a lot of time, and I'm not saying that we won't get to the point that we want to take some different actions and make some different decisions, but if we approach the need of the desire to start over or to start anew, if we approach that first at the level of change, then we will put a lot of energy and effort into actions that won't actually create what it is that we ultimately want. And for those of you out there who have changed jobs multiple times and you keep landing in a job that isn't bringing you the experience that you desire, this is exactly what I'm talking about. And believe me, my friend, I did it myself. I had three jobs my first year outta veterinary school. So I understand the survival tactic of changing jobs to survive this career. But what I wanna show you today is a better way. And it starts with the process. The process starts with number one, which is painting the vision. You have to get clear for yourself what is it that you want to experience? How is it that you want to feel? How is it that you wanna spend your time? What do you want to focus on day in and day out? What in your life do you want to grow or expand? These are the questions that we are so busy that we never take time to ask ourselves. And if we ever wanna make any real and lasting change, if we wanna start anew in a way that actually creates something different, we have to start with the vision. We have to be able to hold a picture of that in our mind of what it is that we are trying to create for ourselves. Even if all the details of the how don't fall into place, because at the beginning they won't, the how you're going to get there is what typically stops us from even going down this process. Because as soon as our logical mind jumps in and says, I don't know how I'm gonna ever do that, we eliminate it as a possibility. But the truth is that nobody who ever achieved anything or ever made a great change in their life knew exactly how they were gonna do it until they had done it and could look back and write out the steps. So you don't need to know how right now process step number one is you just need to paint the vision. What is it that you want to create? What do you wanna experience? How do you wanna feel? What do you want? Even if it's, what do you want to be different? You can start there because when you can look at the contrast, the contrast is so very important. The contrast of what you have right now is gonna help you to define what it is that you would like to be different. So painting that vision is the first step. As you paint that vision, you hold in your mind what it feels like to be in that new place. So we're gonna jump from where you are to as if you are already there. And that's the process. Step number two, it is aligning the vision with the person that you are now. So in process, step number one, you've painted the vision in process. Step number two, you are going to align the vision. You're gonna sit in the vision. You're going to imagine that you are already there. You are gonna give yourself lots of permission to sit and daydream and really just close your eyes and imagine what your life is like when you have already created this different way of existence for yourself. When you are happy all the time, when you don't dread going to work, when you no longer get stuck in these thought loops that are trying to convince you that going into veterinary medicine was the worst decision ever, a place where you no longer feel trapped by things like your student loans or your prior decisions, that's the place I want you to go. That's what I'm hoping. When you create your vision in step one, that step two, then aligning with that has you in that place where you can imagine what it feels like when you're already there. Now this is not gonna be the easiest thing in the world. And you might be thinking, well, Cari, good grief, all you've told me to do so far is like, dream about what I want and then act like I'm already there in my mind. And yeah, that is, that is all that I want you to do right now. But you may be surprised how difficult that is because of the long held negative thinking that many of us hold the thinking that automatically eliminates some of your possibilities from you because it jumps in and tells you you don't know how, or it tells you that it's not ever gonna be possible, my friend, we wanna set those voices aside. They've driven the bus long enough. So you're gonna start out and you're gonna dream big. You're gonna give yourself that full permission to paint that vision number one of what it is that you wanna experience in your life and your job and your relationships and your location and in your hobbies. What is it that you wanna experience? How do you wanna feel? How do you wanna spend your time? And then you're gonna spend some time for number two, just imagining that you are already there, that that is what your day looks like day in and day out, that your days, your weeks, your months, your years, your bank account, your relationships, your location, your occupation, all of those things align with that new vision you've created for yourself. Allow yourself to feel those amazing emotional and sensational feelings that come along with that kind of new reality. And then number three, we're gonna create that vision. As you give yourself that permission for step two to sit in the vision, you're going to gain clarity on what you need to do first to start moving in that direction. And it is the energy of that step two of sitting in that vision that will give you the courage and the motivation to take some of those very first steps. It's amazing how when we spend some time sitting in the vision of what we want to create, how much more quickly and how easier it becomes for that vision to become reality, our circumstances actually begin to adjust to the new vision that we are holding for ourselves. We start to make some new decisions and those new decisions then become a new reality. It doesn't happen overnight, but it doesn't even need to happen overnight. Because when you use this process of number one, painting that vision for yourself, number two, aligning with that vision right now, sitting in the energy of it and behaving as if it's already done. And then number three, you take those actions and make those decisions from that place of doneness, of from that future place if you will. Then your current reality starts to shift the way that you experience your days day in, day out, hour by hour starts to change even though the circumstances of those days maybe don't change yet. So to give you a very tangible example of what I'm talking about, the way that you experience a day in the life of your veterinary career will be very different than the way that you experience it traditionally, once you've been through this process. And the more often you give yourself time and space to repaint that vision, to sit in the energy of it and then allow it to align in your daily decisions, then those experiences in the current moment, in the current circumstances just begin to improve and improve and improve in a very exponential kind of way. The circumstances don't have to change before you can start having part of what you've painted in your vision before. You can start feeling better. You can start being happier. You can start engaging in other areas of your life. I suspect that for most of us, those are the kinds of things that we would include when we paint our vision. What I'm trying to share with you is that you don't have to wait until your circumstances change to be happier, to be less stressed, to use your time in different ways. And it's when you actually use this process to paint your vision, sit in the vision, and then align and energetically with that, vis that vision in the current moment, when you start to engage in your life through this lens, which is a very future focused type of lens, then the dramas of what's happening in the current moment really don't have any space. There's no space left in your focus for them to even influence you. You can stay actionable in what you can control in the moment, but it doesn't become the creator of your entire experience. And that's what's really drug most of us down, where our focus is so much on the things that are happening in the current moments that we can't control. And we've coupled that with this idea that those things have to be fixed or changed or left before we have any opportunity to, to feel better or to be happier, or to to experience things in a more empowering way, that we keep trying to change circumstances as that means of creating the vision. And what I'm hoping that I'm able to convey in this message today is that creating that vision for your life, like having that as a reality once you've determined what it is. So I guess we should take a second to, to notice that most of us stay so busy in our day in and day out in the little dramas of life and the chaos of veterinary practice, that we don't even create any space for ourselves to envision what we might want for the future, how we would want things to be different. We just know what we don't like and we focus on that, but we don't focus on the other side of that, which is what we would like instead. And so when we continue to only focus on what we don't want to happen, then we are living our lives only through the energy of what we don't want. And so nothing ever changes. We're getting exactly what we're focusing on, which is what we don't want. So instead, when we've created space and time to paint this vision for ourselves, for what we do want, and we can use the don't as the jumping off point is the contrast point to help us gain clarity over what we do. Once we do recognize what we want and we spend time sitting in that vision of it, so continuing to paint out that vision, create that vision in our minds of it, then what can happen is that we hold that vision as we interact in our current circumstances. And because we're holding that vision of what we're creating for ourselves, of what we do want in our lives, we are approaching our current circumstances from a completely different emotional state that will automatically make us have better days. It's fascinating how it works. You don't have to have everything go perfectly. You don't need to schedule to be not double booked. You don't need to be fully staffed. You don't need, you don't need everybody to create the appointments the right way. You don't need only three surgeries to be scheduled. Like whatever the variables are right now that you've drawn conclusion that these circumstances, these variables in your day are the things that make a day a good day or a bad day. Those things then no longer have any power over you. And as soon as they don't have any power over you, then starting again actually begins from a completely different starting point. You're starting from a place of moving toward what you want. You're holding that vision, you're making decisions that are aligned and a right and right for you as opposed to trying to get away from what you don't want. And I know it sounds like semantics, but the reason this is so important is because of the energy through which you take the next step and you make the next decisions. If you're making those decisions from a place of feeling defeated and frustrated and angry and overwhelmed and disrespected, then the decisions that you make, even though it may create a very short term, it may create a short term relief for you. It's gonna be very short term and it's not gonna be sustained. If on the other hand, you recognize that there's a whole bunch of things that you don't want, you don't like, you do want to be different, great, let's recognize those. But then you take this extra moment to go through this process of envisioning what it is that you do want. So paint that vision for yourself, all the circumstances, all the emotions you wanna feel all of it. And then imagine what it is like as if it's you're already there. As you do that imagining of that, of already there, like imagine yourself walking through your days as if you're already in that different place, your emotional vibration starts to elevate. You will feel better. And as you do this process, you raise your overall net emotional state, and then you interact in your current days, in your current circumstances, in a much more empowered way. And all along the way, you also start to make new decisions and you start to then create new circumstances for yourself. So the feeling better, the the massive benefit of this whole vision process where we are wanting to create something different for ourselves in order to feel better, in order to feel empowered and respected and to be joyful and to look forward to our days, we can actually start experiencing all of that, even as we are still creating the actual physical circumstances of the new reality. That's the most important thing for us to recognize that the entire vibration, if you will, of a day. So whether it's a good day or a bad day, that's an opinion that we make, right? That's a conclusion that we draw. And when we've tied together a lot of bad days, one right after another, we start to draw a conclusion about why those days are bad. And those days are bad because of circumstances. That's what our mind will offer us. But the truth is what the bad means in the bad day is that we felt bad that day. We felt bad. All kinds of things happened around us, and we felt bad. Either we felt disrespected, we felt embarrassed, we felt exhausted, we felt overwhelmed, we felt taken advantage of, we felt frustrated, we felt anxious, we felt bad. And so that's a bad day. We think we have to fix everything that didn't go right that day in order for us to have a good day. And so those things we try to fix things like schedules, things like staffing, things like training, things like client behavior, things like patient outcomes. And we keep taking actions, these forceful actions from all that negative emotion to make changes in those areas. What I want you to see is that we are approaching it all the wrong way. And it that's why we keep cycling in this negative energy in veterinary medicine. And this not just veterinary medicine related, this also happens to people in all different kinds of areas of their lives and different types of careers. For us, it's very easy to see how this is happening. In veterinary medicine, the way that we change our veterinary medicine experience is not dependent on all of those variables getting fixed. It's not dependent on having more staffing, having everybody better trained, having all the clients behave nicely and respectfully. The schedule being perfectly aligned, it's not dependent on any of that. Having a better day is simply dependent on where you put your focus. And so if your focus is on what you're creating for yourself in your life where you're moving forward, if it's a forward focused kind of focus, then you will automatically create for yourself a higher level of emotional energy. You will automatically feel better. And when you come to work and engage in any aspect of your life from that place where you are already in a higher emotional state, then the circumstances have even less ability to negatively impact you. The other side of that is, as you approach your days this way, you also make decisions and take actions to begin creating that future that you have envisioned for yourself. It's the only way that we ever get to a place of sustainable wellbeing, if you will. And so it's not dependent on your circumstances being different, it's your wellbeing. Your happiness is not dependent on seeing in reality the completion of this vision that you paint for yourself as that step one of the process. And by all means, I hope you do create it. I think you absolutely have the ability to do it, but you're Happys isn't dependent on, it's not contingent on is probably a better word. It's not contingent on that already being done. It's not an if or it's not a when and then kind of situation when I've created that, then I can be happy. No, not at all. That's the superpower in all of this. It's the amazing concept here. It's that you get to be happy now while you're building the different kind of life you wanna experience. And you get to be happy now because you've got a secret. You know where you're headed to. You know what it's gonna be like. And you're letting yourself feel that today in this present moment, even as the circumstances that you can't control and that you do desire to move away from, continue to be real. You don't have to let those circumstances of today determine your emotional wellbeing and limit what's possible tomorrow. That's the heart of all of this. So when it comes to starting something new, starting over, starting again, we have to start with number one, painting the vision. What is it that we wanna create for ourselves? Give ourselves time to just dream about that, to think about it, to jot some notes down. And every time that little voice in your head says, oh, that's impossible. You can't do that. You don't even know how to start. You just push that aside. 'cause we'll get to that later. Right now, your only role is to paint the vision. Once you've painted the vision, then you're gonna jump to already done. You're gonna give yourself permission to sit in that place where everything that you wanna create for yourself already exists, and you're gonna let yourself feel exactly how you're gonna feel, the pride, the excitement, the motivation, the empowerment, the respectfulness, the value you're gonna allow yourself to feel and experience all of that in this present moment. And then, and only then will you begin with step three, which is to start the creation process. That's one tiny little step at a time. You don't need to know all the steps between here and there to get started. You just need to make the first decision, whatever that might be. And it could be something as simple as researching. It could be something as simple as making some time in your calendar to research on some kind of topic, simple, tiny, little steps. And in the meantime, every day you and engage in your life knowing that you are in the process of creating the life that you want, of creating exactly the way that you wanna feel. And that no matter what happens today in your life, and no matter what happens today at work, that nobody has the power to take your vision away from you. And with that, they also can never steal your emotional wellbeing. All right, my friends, that's gonna wrap it up for this episode. I hope this helps, and I'll see you next week. Bye for now.