In this episode, Dr. Cari Wise discusses the unpredictability of veterinary practice, the impact of human errors, and the unrealistic pursuit of perfection. It emphasizes the importance of accepting human fallibility, understanding that mistakes are part of the learning process, and fostering self-compassion.
The principle of “first do no harm” is explored, highlighting the intention behind actions rather than the outcomes. The podcast also stresses the significance of building trust within oneself to establish strong relationships with clients.
Veterinary professionals are reminded of their qualifications and encouraged to focus on the positive impacts they make, letting go of guilt and shame associated with past mistakes. The overarching message is to embrace veterinary medicine as a journey of growth, where doing one’s best in each moment is what truly matters.
Key takeaways:
- Challenges in Veterinary Practice: Veterinary professionals face unpredictability and emotional struggles, often dealing with outcomes that do not meet expectations and human errors that lead to guilt and shame.
- Acceptance of Human Fallibility: The podcast emphasizes that veterinary medicine is a practice where mistakes are inevitable. It encourages acceptance of human fallibility and making decisions with the best available information and intentions at the time.
- Critique of Perfectionism: Perfectionism is seen as detrimental to self-trust and team dynamics. The relentless pursuit of perfection can create a toxic work environment and hinder professional growth.
- Principle of “First Do No Harm”: This principle is about the intention to help rather than guaranteeing the absence of discomfort or suffering. Self-judgment based on future evaluations of past decisions can lead to guilt and shame.
- Building Trusting Relationships: Trust within oneself is foundational to building trusting relationships with clients. Approaching client interactions with self-doubt and shame can hinder rapport, while focusing on the best interests of the patient and client can mitigate adverse outcomes.
- Qualifications and Decision-Making: Veterinary professionals are reminded of their qualifications and the importance of making informed decisions based on available resources, rather than striving for perfection. Outcomes are influenced by multiple factors beyond the veterinarian’s control.
- Self-Forgiveness and Compassion: Letting go of past mistakes and reframing them as neutral events is crucial. Holding onto guilt and shame can impede professional performance. The podcast advocates for self-forgiveness and compassion, recognizing that all veterinary professionals face similar challenges.
- Focus on Positive Impact: Emphasizing the positive impact made in the lives of animals and clients is important. The majority of interactions are beneficial, and this should be the focus.
- Journey of Learning and Growth: Veterinary medicine should be seen as a journey of learning and growth. The goal is not perfection but doing one’s best in each moment.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain typos.
Hi there. I’m Doctor Cari Wise, veterinarian, certified life coach and certified quantum human design specialist. If you’re a veterinary professional looking to up level your life and your career, or maybe looking to go in an entirely new direction, then what I talk about here on the Joyful DVM podcast is absolutely for you. Let’s get started. Hello my friends. Welcome back to the Joyful DVM podcast. Today we’re going to be talking about a topic that hits pretty close to home for most of us, and it has to do with just being human.
As we go through our veterinary careers, there are times when things don’t turn out the way that we want them to turn out. There are going to be situations where patients don’t get better or where clients are cranky. This just kind of comes with the practice of veterinary medicine. But what also comes with the practice of veterinary medicine are human errors. And this is something that we need to talk more about because not only is it common, but it’s also a common source of ongoing guilt and shame and decreasing in well being.
As you practice veterinary medicine, there’s something that you must keep in mind. It is that this is the practice of veterinary medicine. Built in to the name of our profession is the assumption that there will be errors, human errors. And that is not something that you are going to be able to eliminate through perfectionism. As much as we try to be perfect, sometimes we are going to just be human.
And you know what, my friends? That’s okay. We aren’t always going to make the exact right decisions in every single moment. But those decisions only get evaluated as right or wrong at a point in the future, not in the moment, where we make them. And this is where we start to get really tangled up. Self judgment and shame. Add to that what our practice acts include, which is that statement, first do no harm.
It’s very easy for us to take that context along with outcomes and start to believe that we are really bad at our jobs, that we shouldn’t even have a license, that other people can do this better, and that train of thought can really lead us into a dark, dark place. So I want to take some time here and kind of peel this apart and show you different components that you might not even be considering.
Let’s start out with that idea of first do no harm. Notice that the sentence starts with first do no harm. And what that means is that you should not intentionally set out to harm animals. What it does not mean is that you should be able to guarantee that everything that you do doesn’t cause some kind of animal pain or suffering. Now, this may seem like a very nuanced kind of difference.
But it actually is everything. Because what many of us end up doing. Is evaluating our patients and their outcomes at a future point in time. And recognizing that maybe it didn’t turn out the way that we wanted it to. Maybe that animal is more uncomfortable than we had anticipated that it would be. Or maybe we just made a mistake. And through that lens, we start to believe that we have broken our oath.
To first do no harm. My friends, no such thing has occurred. Because what is true is that in the moment that you made those decisions. You made the best decision that you could. With the information and resources you had available at the time. In the moment that you made that decision. You made it through a motive and intention of helping. You certainly didn’t decide it with the intent of harming your patients.
So judging yourself on the backside. For a decision that you made. That you actually felt good about. Is a very self defeating habit. And it builds a cycle of decreasing trust. And guilt and shame toward yourself. That’s certainly not going to be useful here. In the practice of veterinary medicine, perfectionism has no place. And the more that we strive to be perfect. The more that we actually degrade our own self trust.
And also harm our veterinary teams. Because when we’re trying to be perfect ourselves. That perfectionistic tendency and expectation. Actually bleeds out into everybody else that we work with. The way that that shows up then for us. In our interactions with our teams and our colleagues. Is through being hyper critical. And being control freaks. Being on edge all the time. Barking out orders, correcting kind of aggressively without any explanation.
It shows up as a lack of compassion toward ourselves and toward others. For simply being human. And then that vicious cycle of judgment and shame. Just gets completely out of control. Perfectionism was never the point of this profession. And we must remember that in order to truly embrace the practice of veterinary medicine. We must also embrace that we are humans. Doing this job built into our human existence.
Is going to be times where we make mistakes. We are going to make decisions that we evaluate at a future point in time. And notice and learn that maybe next time we’ll make a different decision. But recognizing that next time you would make a different decision. Should not then lead you. And keep you trapped in believing. That you should have made that different decision in the first place.
Because, again, you just did the best that you could. And it’s easy for us to look at the outcomes. And to be very judgmental. And harsh toward ourselves. But, my friends, perfectionism just was never the point. You were only ever supposed to do your best. When it comes to something like the practice of medicine. Veterinary medicine included. That’s why there is insurance called liability insurance. Because sometimes your human is just going to show up.
And when that happens, liability insurance exists to help fill that gap when it’s needed. With that in mind, we have to consider the insurance industry itself. This industry is built on hedging bets. Basically playing the odds that the people they sell their insurance to. Are never going to end up actually cashing it in. And the higher the risk is that the insured will actually cash it in. Then the higher the premiums.
This is an important point for us to consider. When you look at the cost of veterinary malpractice insurance. Or liability insurance as a whole. Because, comparatively speaking, it is pretty inexpensive to carry that liability insurance. So why would that be? It would only be the case if the industry that is built on playing the odds. Has decided that veterinary professionals. Are a pretty good bet. That most of the time they’re going to have to pay out very little.
That’s the reason that our premiums are so low. So it’s okay for you to embrace that you are part of that low odds. Of catastrophic decision making and outcomes. And once in a while, yes, things are not going to go the way that we wanted them to go. We are going to run into situations. Where the decisions that we made. Actually don’t create the outcomes that we intended.
And that at a future point, we’re going to have clarity. That perhaps that decision wasn’t the decision that we should have made. That perhaps a different decision would have served that patient better in the moment. But learning that lesson at a future time. Shouldn’t be the reason. That you then get stuck in a downward spiral. Of guilt and shame and self judgment. You’re only human. And this is part of the job that we chose.
If you see enough cases, you’re going to screw up at some point. And my friends, that is okay. Because there are wins and there are lessons. And I would go as far as to say that even those moments. Where you recognize that you made a mistake. That that is actually an intentional part of your own individual journey. In this profession and in your life as a whole. There are lessons and experiences.
That every single one of us are supposed to have. And it all is combined as part of this journey, of these lives that we live. It helps us to grow into who we are. But if we get trapped in a cycle of judgment and shame and guilt. Then we stop interacting in our lives. We stop showing up for our patients. We start to interact through fear, leaning on others for the answers as if they know better than you do.
And what I’m going to come back to time and time again is that when it comes to your life, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you. And when it comes to your role in veterinary medicine, that you are just as qualified to practice this profession as the rest of us are. Yes, we can learn from each other, but so much of our learning, the learning that actually serves us the best as we move through our careers, is the learning that we learn through our own experiences.
Those cases that we mess up, we’re never going to mess those cases up again. And that’s just what it takes sometimes for us to really learn how to interact in different situations, how to handle different cases. And what’s so fascinating about this is when you’ve been through an experience where something has happened because you’ve made a decision that wasn’t what you would deem the right decision at a future point, just going through that experience actually builds your resilience.
And if you can go through that experience with compassion for yourself, with focus on the truth, which is that you just did the best that you could in the moment, even if your best didn’t turn out to be what needed to happen, if you can go through that with compassion and awareness that your motive and your heart was in the right place, and that your human just showed up, then the next time you face a similar situation, which you likely will, the experience of itself won’t be so bad.
When it comes to our clients and our patients, building that trusting relationship is everything. And that trusting relationship that we build with a client has to first start from a trusting relationship that we have with ourselves. If we go into those interactions full of self doubt and shame and self judgment, then we’re going to have a really hard time building any kind of trusting relationship with the client.
But if we go into those relationships with the best interests of the client and the patient in mind, with an intention to make the best decisions that we can, with the information and resources that we have available, with an intention to perform those tests and those procedures at the best of the ability that we have right now, then even when things go sideways, the overall outcome doesn’t have to be catastrophic.
These kinds of accidents and mistakes don’t have to end up in board complaints and horrible reviews. It’s actually quite amazing and beautiful how much you can bond with a client. Even when things don’t turn out the way that you want them to. And some of that reason might be your fault. There really are many, many clients out there. Who have experienced that. And have maintained their relationships with their veterinary professionals.
Who have grieved the outcomes right alongside them. But without blame. Because of the trusting relationship that was built in the first place. But, my friends, it’s going to be really hard. To build trusting relationships. With your clients. If you don’t trust you. And what I want you to know is that you are qualified to do this job. It’s already been decided by the only licensing bodies. That have any say, right?
You took the big test. You got the credentials. You’re qualified. So now you must just allow yourself to practice veterinary medicine. Which simply means that moment by moment. You make the best decisions that you can. With the information and resources that you have. Practicing veterinary medicine does not require clients. To follow all of your recommendations. It doesn’t require them to approve all of your tests. And all of your treatments.
Practicing just simply means that you evaluate, that. You give them some options. You follow through on your wishes, on their wishes. And then you all wait to see what happens with the pet. And then you go again. The truth is that the individual patient physiology. Is not something that you will ever control. No matter how hard you try. And how perfect you try to be. You will never control the physiology of that animal.
Which means you cannot be solely responsible. For the outcomes we influence. Outcomes just a little bit of. With the treatments and procedures that we provide. But we still cannot guarantee that an animal will get better. We can also not guarantee that an animal won’t get better. With or without our intervention. We have to just realize that in this practice of veterinary medicine. We just play one tiny role.
And that any of us in this chain. Ourselves as veterinary professionals. The clients and even the patient. Any quote unquote wrong decision along the way. Can contribute to an outcome that we don’t want. That’s just part of this job that we do. So if you’re really beating yourself up. Over some accident or mistake. That you’ve made in the past. I want you to just recognize that you’re holding yourself to an unattainable goal.
To an unattainable expectation. Because the thing about perfectionism, whether it’s in veterinary medicine or anywhere else. Is that it’s unattainable. If you can’t define it, then you can’t achieve it. And in veterinary medicine, defining what perfection looks like. Is something that cannot be defined. Perfectionism was never the goal here. So the self judgment and shame and the degrading self trust that you continue to create for yourself is all optional.
I want you to just consider that maybe doing the best that you can in any given moment is all that you were ever supposed to do. And that maybe that cases turn out not the way that you wanted to. That things sometimes go sideways, that sometimes you make the wrong choice, is also built into the fabric of this profession that you chose. And maybe none of that actually really matters in the grand scheme of things.
It’s okay to extend compassion to yourself in the same way that you extend compassion to your animal patients and to your clients. It’s okay to give yourself the benefit of the doubt, to remember that your heart and your motives were always in the good place, and to let yourself let go of things that happened in the past. Because here’s the thing. Those things that happened in the past, those cases that went sideways, those decisions that today you have deemed as bad or wrong decisions, the only way they continue to hurt you today is if you keep reliving them in your mind and continue the cycle of self judgment.
Instead, consider just let them be neutral. Let those past events be what they are, just things that happened before, and realize that they don’t have any power to influence what happens today. Aside from the story that you continue to tell about them, the more that you keep diving back into that negative story and packing on this guilt and this shame, the more you are going to be less likely to interact in a powerful way with your clients and your patients and your colleagues.
And if you don’t show up as that version of yourself that is qualified to do this job, then it is going to be very difficult for you to rebuild the trust with yourself and to continue to build trusting relationships with clients. I don’t want that for you. I want you just to allow yourself to have made whatever mistakes you think you have made, to forgive yourself for those things.
Because, my friends, I’ve forgiven you. Other people have forgiven you. And outside of you, if you would actually talk with your colleagues about these things, you’re going to find that they have been through the exact same situations. It’s just part of what happens in this job that doesn’t dismiss the impact. I know how much it hurts when we make decisions, when we clearly believe that what we did hurt an animal or hurt a client, I know how much that hurts.
But hanging on to that is going to stop you from helping others. And it doesn’t take into account at all, that your motive was good, that it wasn’t intentional, and that you have helped far more animals and people than you have hurt. And those things actually do matter. So, my friends, as you go through the next few weeks, if there’s anywhere that you’re hanging on to self judgment and shame and guilt over something that’s happened in the past, I want you to consider giving yourself permission to just leave it there, to take from it only the lessons that you’ve learned, but to leave behind the continued judgment of it, and instead remind yourself that this is the practice of veterinary medicine, that perfection was never the goal, that you are qualified to do this job, that you have helped far more than you have hurt, and that you are absolutely in the right place.
All right, my friends, that’s going to wrap it up for this week. I’ll see you soon. Bye for now.