Are you ready to change your life?
Your instinct is to answer yes… but you may be lying to yourself.
Your actions and beliefs probably tell a different story.
There are three questions that will help you determine if you are really ready to experience your life in a different way.
In today’s episode I explore those three questions, and share the one think you MUST do, if you are ever going to create a different reality for yourself.
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This transcript is auto-generated and may contain typos. Three questions to help you determine if you're really ready to up level your life. That's what we're talking about in episode 96. I'm Dr. Cari Wise, and this is the Joyful DVM Podcast. Hello my friends. Welcome to episode 96. Today we're gonna be talking about up-leveling our lives, and we're gonna work our way through three questions that will help you to determine if you are really ready. See, many of us talk about our lives in a way as if we wish for something different. We have our dreams, we have our goals. There are things that we can identify that we want to be different, but when it really comes down to it, only a few of us are ready to make the change. So today we're gonna spend some time exploring three questions that are gonna help you determine whether or not you are ready to level up your life experience or if you're not quite there yet, and what you can do to make yourself ready. So here we go. Question number one. Are you arguing for your limiting beliefs? Are you arguing for your limiting beliefs? Now, most of us, when we hear this question, the answer that we are going to instinctually answer is no, I'm not arguing for my limiting beliefs, but we need to look at this a little bit closer because you may be surprised at how you're doing exactly that. One way we argue for our limiting beliefs is by trying to convince others of the extent of our plight. So whatever you are frustrated with, whatever difficulties you might be experiencing in your life or in your job or in your relationships, as you talk about those things to other people, you convince them, you work to convince them of how hard it is. You want them to understand how hard you've got it, how bad it is. And through this narrative, you're actually arguing for your limiting beliefs. You're blocking out the idea that there's anything else that could be possible, that this negative way is simply the way that it is. And my friends, if you listen to what you say, notice how there's no path forward through that kind of conversation. We need to pay attention to the words that we use. So how are you talking about your circumstances? If you spend a lot of time trying to convince the people around you about how bad you have it, then you're arguing for your limiting belief and it's gonna be hard to move forward. Another way that we argue for our limiting beliefs is by reposting things on social media that reinforce the negative belief systems themselves. So it's really easy for us to see a meme or some kind of other post that is deprecating toward our job, toward our career field toward relationships. You know, it's just that kind, kind of negative sarcasm, and we laugh at that stuff and then we repost it. But if you ever taken a second to consider how much that's actually influencing your overall experience and where you're headed, remember the way the mind works is that what you focus on, you create more of. And so as we continue to reinforce the belief systems that don't serve us, so the ideas about our lives that actually aren't what we want, we are going to continue to attract and create that for ourselves. This is another form of arguing for your limiting beliefs. Stop posting these things as if it's fact because my friends, it's not for every one of those negative posts that you repost and share and spread. There's somebody out there that's having a completely different experience. Your opportunity to experience that something different for yourself is being limited by how much you're focusing and reinforcing in your mind, in your experience, this that you don't want. So even though it might be out of just, even though you think it's just something funny, recognize that energetically the environment doesn't know any different. What you focus on, you create more of. So we have to break the habit of reinforcing the negative things that we have in our lives. We're simply arguing for our limiting beliefs, and it's very difficult, if not impossible, to create a different outcome for ourselves when we do that. Now, question number two, do you hold resentment toward those who have what you want? Be honest with yourself here. Think about people in your life who have the kind of life that you want. Consider people who have the type of job that you want or make the kind of income that you would like to make or have the type of relationship that you would like to have. Do you hold resentment against them? One way you can determine this is, do you joke about them? Do you make snide comments about them? Do you say things like, well, yeah, if I had that much money, then I could dot, dot, dot. Or if I had a great significant other like that, then of course I would have time to dot, dot, dot, dot. That kind of narrative is what we're looking for here. Those kinds of statements reveal resentment, and when you resent in others what you actually want for yourself, you just keep pushing it away. You're basically trying to convince yourself that you don't need that other circumstance. You don't need a better income, you don't need a better relationship. You don't need a better job. And although it's true, you don't need any of those things. You want them. And so you're trying to decrease the impact on you for not having them by minimizing what it would be like to actually have them in real life. We do that by negatively talking about other people who have what we want. It's not helpful. Again, what you focus on, you create. So if you keep reinforcing the idea that people who have what you want, so have the type of job you want, the type of money you wanna make, the type of relationship you want, maybe the type of home you wanna live in, insert whatever the variable is there, as long as you continue to reinforce negative opinions about the people who have what you want, you're going to push those same circumstances away from yourself. You're not ready to actually experience them because if you were ready to experience them, then you wouldn't be resentful toward their actual existence. For other people, it's not the people who create the situations, right? People in your world are just other circumstances. They're part of your factual framework. When you see those people though as evidence of what you will never have, and so you have to like downplay it and be resentful about it in order to just accept that that does not make anything better. It doesn't make anything better at all. So I think it's really important for us to listen to what we hold resentment against because whatever we're resenting is an indicator that there is an insecurity there. It's something we're pushing back against, and it's probably something you want for yourself, but underneath it, you don't believe that you're ever going to have it, and so therefore you feel frustrated, you feel disadvantaged, and you feel insecure because you're just never gonna have the thing that you want. Now, I don't think any of that is true. Let's be very clear about that. I don't think that any of that's true, but unless we question it, many of us continue to live in a thought process repeating patterns and behaviors that reinforce this idea. Resentment is a great indicator in where you don't believe in yourself. And this kind of brings us to question number three. What anchor belief are you fostering that's holding you back at the base of everything? We all have beliefs about ourselves and about our lives and about our circumstances, and there's one really powerful, what I call anchor belief that's driving the bus in this situation. It's the one that's kind of the go-to. That is the reason or the excuse for everything you don't have. So what is that anchor belief for you? Is it something like, I'm not good enough, or is it I've got too many responsibilities or maybe I chose wrong, so therefore it's no longer possible? Sentences like that, these anchor beliefs can be very influential, and when we don't question them or recognize that they're optional, then we see everything else in our lives through that lens. So think about this for a minute. If you're carrying around an anchor belief that you're not good enough, then of course you're going to argue for your limiting beliefs. All of the things that you want aren't possible for you because you're not good enough. Of course you're gonna be resentful toward people who have what it, those things that you want to have for yourself because underneath that, you're believing that they're better than you are. But that's just not true. Until we identify the anchor beliefs that are kind of driving the best of our lives, it's very difficult for us to have anything different. We can stand and look at our wives and we can identify the things that we think that we want, the different job, the different relationship, more freedom, more time living in a different location, less stress, less anxiety, lower weight on the scale, more money. We can make our whole list of things that we want, but if the anchor belief that's driving our life is something like, I'm not good enough, or I've got too many responsibilities to be able to pursue something for myself, or I made it wrong choice in the past, and that's gonna prevent me from doing anything positive in the future. If something like that is at the anchor of your life, then it doesn't really matter what you want because you've already blocked yourself from ever getting it. This is why it's so important for us to consider that question. Are you ready? Now you can shift yourself into being ready. It's not an absolute by any stretch of the imagination, you can shift yourself into being ready, but you've got to take a look at all three of these areas and really start behaving in a way that supports your readiness. You have to start saying nicer things to yourself. It's never gonna serve you to believe that you're not good enough. We can't prove it. Let's remember that we can't prove that you're not good enough because enough in and of itself is something that is undefinable. So we can't prove you're not good enough. So how about instead, we decide that we are perfect for the journey that we are here to live, that's gonna serve you so much better, and there's no rules about what you believe for yourself. So even if it's a habit, even if you haven't considered that, you have the option to believe something different, I want you to know that when it comes to what you believe about you, you get to decide. Same thing with your actions and behaviors. Listen to what you say. Are the sentences that are coming out of your mouth helpful? Are they supportive? Are they uplifting? Do they move everybody forward? Or are you contributing to the negativity of the world? Are you buying into a story that we're all screwed? Are you adding to the evidence that maybe your career field was the worst decision ever? Many of us are, and we think it's kind of funny, but the thing of it is, the only reason we think it's funny is because we think it's true and it's not true. There's a lot of P people in this population, particularly veterinary professionals who do believe that veterinary medicine was the worst decision ever. They do believe that their lives are limited because they chose this as a career field, but I promise you that's not factual. We can't prove it, and it's not true for everybody. So why are you choosing for it to be true for you? It doesn't have to be, it's completely optional, but you may not have even realized that you had a choice. Now you do. The way that you view your career field is going to create your experience of it. And if there are absolutely tangible things that you would like to change, like you want a different job or you wanna make more money, then let's get to work creating that instead of arguing for the terrible schedule that you have and the low pay that you're currently making. And finally, we have to watch that resentment. What are we resenting? I know I said this before, but it's worth saying again. What are you resenting? If you don't notice where you're holding resentment, then you are missing opportunity to clear roadblocks out of your way. Resentment will never serve you. Resenting those who have what you want is the absolute best way to assure that you never get it. The truth is that those people who have what you want in your life should inspire you. They are examples that what you want is possible. The only difference is their approach. Their only difference is their mindset. Remember, every action that we take in our lives is driven by an emotion, and every emotion that is created that we experience is created by a sentence. So it's the beliefs. The only difference between you and them is what they believe. Instead of them walking around believing they're not good enough, perhaps they're believing that anything's possible. Instead of them, instead of walking around and believing that they are never gonna have it any better, that they're always gonna be in in debt and overworked in their profession, they're believing that they can make a different amount of money and have a a schedule that's ideal for themselves. They're creating their own reality because they start out believing something different as possible. And this is something you can do too. Remember, every belief is simply optional. It's just an opinion, just a sentence. None of 'em are facts. So what you believe about your life and about what's possible in your life is going to determine what you experience. That's the heart of this question of, are you ready? Because if you're not ready to entertain the idea that anything is possible, then what you experience will just be a repetition of what you've experienced in the past. If you want something different, you've got to get to work. And the way you get to work is not through action. It doesn't start with action. It starts with belief. What do you believe? If you're ready to have a different experience, then you have to work on you. There's no easy way around this. I wish that there were, and I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with you. You're a human with a human brain. But as a fellow human with a human brain, what I know for sure and for certain is that the only way for any of us to create a different experience for ourselves starts with us investigating what we believe about ourselves. If we're not willing to take a hard look at the reality of how we have created our current existence, then we will never be willing to consider how we can change what we believe in order to create something new in the future. It really is up to you. Nobody else can do this work for you and not everybody's ready. Just because you can fundamentally understand what I'm saying and even believe it, that does not mean that you are at the point that you're ready to put in the work. It is work, but it's not impossible work. It's going to require you to be very vulnerable with yourself, to be curious, to extend compassion. And so many of us have been on the hamster wheel of life for so long, we can't even imagine finding the time to investigate it. And through that, yet another limiting belief, I don't have enough time. We will never create a different reality, but I'm here to share that your life is so much bigger than that. The dreams that you have for your life are yours, and they are intentional, and they're part of the greater story of our entire world. If you never step off the hamster wheel, then you are going to miss out on the beauty of your own existence and so will the rest of us. So you have to decide when you're ready. You have to decide when it is that you're going to prioritize what you want for you. You have to decide when you're gonna stop arguing for your limiting beliefs, when you're gonna stop reposting. All of those things on social media that reinforce what you actually don't want. You have to decide when you're gonna stop holding resentment toward people who have it different than you do, and you're gonna have to decide when you're ready to stop talking about yourself in a negative way that actually hides the amazing person that you are, my friends, who are valuable and infinitely worthy, simply because you exist. And if you don't believe that, then that's the place we need to start. Because until you understand that you are valuable, that you are lovable, that you are worthy, that you are capable, that you have infinite potential, then it will be very difficult for you to create a different experience. See, what so many of us do is we try to chase self-confidence through external achievement. We work really, really hard to do things right, so somebody will give us a pat on the back or say something nice to us, and in those moments, for a fleeting second, we believe it, but as soon as those words stop coming, as soon as there's nothing else to achieve, we're left with ourselves. We're left with what we believe about ourselves and what we believe. If it's not positive, if it's not useful, if it's not uplifting, is simply going to have us repeating the same patterns over and over again. What I want you to hear is that what you believe about yourself is optional, although it may feel factual at this point in time, especially if you believe that you're not good enough or that you're not worthy or that you're not valuable, I want you to know that wherever you pick that up, wherever you learn that, that it's not true, you didn't come here into this lifetime believing that about yourself, and so we know that you learned it somewhere along the way. The beautiful thing is that you can unlearn it just as easily, but only if you're ready. All right, my friends, I'm gonna leave you to ponder that and I'll see you next week. Bye For now.